Great article shared by a friend on Facebook today:
Hey Matt – My wife Cheryl and I are “Retreads.” I don’t mean it in any cynical fashion at all. I just about died when my first marriage ended. I was so broken, I wound up in a church in a divorce recovery group, and then I got saved. I got married the 2nd (and last) time to another born-again believer, and we are, as you, committed through all of it.
What’s completely lost on people these days is that love is not a feeling. More than anything else, love is sacrifice. Love means giving of yourself for that other person. And not just for them, but for everyone. It’s an attitude that says “I won’t give up on you, because I’ll keep giving and giving and giving and trying to understand how to get through the tough stuff and at the same time ride the highs when the good stuff comes along.”
One of our Pastors recently said that we should “Normalize adversity.” Life is FILLED with challenges. If we just adjust our attitude slightly to expect adversity he said, then we would be better off, not always walking around disappointed by life because it failed us again (there’s that rock falling from outer space again, eh?). Things just happen, and if you agree to always meet them head on, then your partner and you will always be prepared to deal with whatever comes your way.
Sounds like you’re well on your way towards the great goal of having a wonderful marriage. We’re coming up on year 14 this year, and every single one of those years has been with its own set of challenges.
One final note, marriage is the oldest institution. We believe God gave it to us to teach us the most basic lesson of all, that 1 + 1 sometimes is more (much more) than 2.